The Back Story

*Note, I don't keep a journal and this is basically my replacement for one. Someday, when I feel like it, I might collect the blog entries I like and print them to make hard copy to serve as a journal. I will want to remember these things some how.

I went on a walk today and it reminded me of the last time I went walking - New Years day on Sunset Beach. That was before we knew I was pregnant.

On Christmas day I felt the dull cramps as a sign that the dreaded "it" was coming. I was expecting "it" any day over Christmas. Disappointed and frustrated, I told Michael to expect "it" so we could both stop thinking about the possibility of being pregnant this month. Still upsetting, this month was going to be easier because we were celebrating Christmas and going to the beach for New Year's with the whole Daubert family. So I waited and waited but "it" didn't show up. We got to the beach the week after Christmas and so we were a little distracted by the relatives. But I still didn't think anything of it. This had happened before and we learned to guard our hearts and minds.

Every now and then the cramps came back and I could swear that I was feeling queezy at times. The queeziness was cured by eating food. I noticed it but disregarded it. It mostly angered me because I was in no mood to be fooled with regarding this issue. I told Michael about that and he became really hopeful. At this point most women probably would have run to the store and bought an EPT - although it need not be early since this was post 3 or 4 days. 1)I wasn't getting my hopes up 2) we didn't have access to those goods at the beach and 3) we were at the beach with the whole family and I didn't want to experience those dreaded emotions around them. So I didn't think about it.

New Years Day everyone who was left decided to take a walk on the beach. I had such a good time talking and walking with Aunt Becca and Cathleen. The men followed behind us as we walked to the very end of the island. Somewhere around mile 3, my lower back started to hurt really bad. The muscles felt tense and sore so I complained a little to Michael. He said to not worry about it and just keep walking. I've never really had back pain of any kind before so I thought it was odd. We were just strolling along, why would it be hurting so much? After we got back, we estimated we had walked close to 6 miles...or was it 25? I can't remember. It had been 2 hours of great exercise. Inside the beach house all I wanted to do was lay on the couch (and eat chips) to rest my back. My back felt better the next morning and we all drove home back to our normal lives.

Michael had decided we should wait until I was 10 days late (like the third eye blind song) to take a pregnancy test. I was fine with that. We really had no desire to see a negative test so it was easy to wait. But as soon as we got back home around 10pm Michael changed his mind and started asking me to take a test. It took about 1.5 hours of convincing me, I reluctantly gave in and marched right into the bathroom to just get it over with and move on. You know what happened next. The dark blue line shot straight up seconds before the test strip even came through. We couldn't believe it! No crying, no laughter, no emotion- just a smile from Michael before he ran out of the room and out the door to go buy another test. The cramps, the nausea, a week late, the lower back pain - it all made sense. Happy sense. We went to bed right after that happy and smiling. Our wait was over!